When I was in the fifth grade, I received a science quiz mark, and I saw my greatest fear; I had earned a C+. At the time, this was the worst thing that could ever happen to me, I couldn’t possibly show my parents, for how could their gifted daughter receive a C+ on a science quiz?!
My anxiety was eating me whole, yet all I could think about was watching the latest Ellen Show clips on YouTube. Everyday after school, I would come home, flop onto my bed and watch clips of the Ellen Show on my broken iPod Touch. I couldn’t understand most of her jokes (usually being awkward, silent innuendoes) but her ‘presence’ was one I loved.
After hiding in my room for three hours, I got the courage to go show my mom the “horrific” mark. Obviously, she wasn’t happy which in turn made me frustrated with myself, so I went back to my room to wallow in my feelings of failure, but eventually got to my desk and started drawing while listening to the Ellen clips I had watched earlier. Her positivity was so strong that I never needed to pay close attention to her, her just being there while I drew, painted or even read was all I needed.
Ellen DeGeneres has been in my life since I was 10 (maybe it was a bit too early in my life, but I wouldn’t have it any either way) so studying and portraying her at Night of the Notables is a dream come true. Ellen has a spirit full of positivity and laughter, and she makes it a strong point in everything she does to “be kind to one another”. She is a face for all women in comedy (being an area where men seem to be highly recognized), along with being a face for the LGBTQ+ community. Coming out in the late 1990’s on live television and in Time magazine, must’ve been extremely tough, especially as one of the very few women recognized in comedy. Although I identify as a straight/heterosexual female, and will most likely never go through her struggles, I can learn a lot from her. Her love and acceptance for everyone is so bright, and through this project I hope to grow as a person under her influence (well, more than I already have). Our personal struggles are different, our journeys/starting points/support systems are very different, but we share a mutual goal; to share love and positivity through laughter.
Portraying my childhood role model (seriously, I had a poster of her and ‘signed’ it to myself from myself. I wanted my friends to think I met the coolest person ever) is going to be tough, I hope I’ll be able to educate others of her brilliance and glow.